Sleeping around

I don’t do it, nor should you. I was never a very promiscuous person, nor was my wife, for that matter. In fact, I’d wager that her adolescent years were probably far more stultifying than mine, insofar as any budding love life might have been concerned. Restrictive parents, coupled with a conservative society and single-sex schools do conspire to thwart teenage amorousness.

So maybe it’s no surprise that now, mid-life, my wife might want to act out on repressed adolescent fantasies. She sleeps around, literally and figuratively: she has a bed here that she seldom uses these days, she has a guest bed at her friends’ place a couple of blocks from here, and then she shares a bed with the adulterer about 40 miles from here. That would certainly meet the definition of “sleeping around” at least a little bit.

As I wrote in my last post, I suspected that my wife had gone off with her lover in my absence. That seems to have been the case, and I cite the following as evidence:

  • A full cup of tea and a mostly drunk glass of juice left on her desk. This suggests to me that she got a text from the adulterer saying something like “I’m 5 minutes away, be ready,” and thus a mad dash to get her bags together and dash out the door.
  • Food for the dog that was left in the freezer. Now here I have to explain: we feed our dog a raw diet, mostly uncooked chicken wings and such, but a few years back our dog got really picky and just would not eat if she wasn’t really hungry. I took this as a sign of health; my wife took it as a cause of concern. So she started do broil the wings for a few minutes (something I’d always objected to as both unnecessary and potentially unhealthy) before giving them to the dog, as it seems to get the dog’s appetite going. She then puts it in the freezer for a few minutes to cool down. So it looks from the evidence that she had gotten ready to feed the dog, and then forgot all about it in the mad dash to get out the door.
  • Fresh tire tracks at the end of the street. I know where this man picks her up and drops her off. There are 2 locations, and I’ve caught them red-handed at one of them on two separate occasions — not by plan, but by coincidence. At that location, I saw tire tracks etched several inches deep into the mud; I can thank the recent snowfall and the following rain and slush for that evidence.
  • Her absence for the rest of yesterday and the entirety of today. If she were staying with friends nearby, she would have come home to hang out. That’s been her pattern.

So she’s off to see the wizard of adultery. Actually, I’m all for it, in a way: she’s so stressed out about her life right now that I don’t think it would take very much to trigger a serious argument that could take the entire relationship down. At the very least, I’d expect her to have a serious talk with him about her life as it stands right now. Not only that, I do know from what I’ve heard her tell others that this man has a lot of female friends, so I wouldn’t put it past her to snoop his computer and cell phone for evidence of another woman in his life. Frankly, I wouldn’t be surprised if he had one or two on the side. He’s a gardener, and he’s got some relatively upscale clientele here in town, and there is likely a lonely housewife or two among them that he might be able to prey on.

That kind of scenario would not surprise me at all, and actually it was my counselor who brought it up. It resonates with my past experience as well: a friend of mine from my college days had an affair with a married woman; despite my warnings to him that it would end badly, he persisted. That is, until he found out that she had cheated on him with a third man.

But as for this situation, it’s anyone’s guess. I’m not psychic, and I don’t have any surveillance equipment or personnel deployed. All I have is a hunch, and that’s based on non-verbal cues, body language, and other subtle information that I’ve picked up on from her. I do have the sense that there is enough tension in her life and their relationship at this point that the whole thing is pretty brittle, so it might not take very much to undermine it, if not bring the whole thing crashing to the ground. And, as I wrote in my last post, the days preceding the new moon are seen in some astrological traditions as being critical times that can be plagued with troubles and mental obscurations. According to the Tibetan astrological calendar, today and tomorrow are really critical days: today is very inauspicious, and tomorrow inauspicious in a different way.

I somehow don’t see anything good coming from their being together, even if they somehow manage to keep the relationship together after the weekend. My wife still has her dissertation to deal with, and I know that she has considered putting the affair on hold (har har) and moving back in here. Guess I’ll just have to wait and see.