All is silent on the marital front, once again.
I last saw my wife on Friday, when she stopped by to pick up the dog on her way out for another weekend at Camp You-Know-What. Since then, I have not heard a peep from her. I guess this has just become par for the course. I’m never sure quite what to think: is she being silent to try to keep me at arms length, or is her silence the signs of the final, existential crisis that will end her affair?
I just don’t know. When we last chatted last week, she got very emotional about her situation. I suspect she is at least as emotional now as she was then, maybe even more so. The “path” she has decided on is hard, and unnecessarily so. It’s no easy thing, deciding to destroy your whole life for the sake of an illicit relationship. The whole universe is against you. What few friends you do have that appear to support your actions will likely begin to feel pressure on their consciences sooner or later, and as a result those friendships may sour. Your family is humiliated by your behavior, and may secretly have a measure of disgust mixed in with their concern about the havoc you are wreaking. It’s very, very hard to be an adulterer. There are just so many pressures conspiring to put an end to your immorality, and sooner or later those pressures will gain the upper hand.
On the personal front, life is going pretty well for me. My spiritual practice is reestablished and stronger than ever. My financial situation has improved markedly, and my professional prospects look pretty good at this point. I’m keeping busy with work, and there looks to be plenty more coming in.This is probably because I’ve made the space for all of this to happen. My main task right now is to make space for my marriage to finally begin to reconcile. I’ve done just about all I can to pave the way for that to happen, and so now I pretty much just have to give it some space and wait.