Obstinate Spouse

Do you have an obstinate spouse? Is your spouse uncooperative? Does your spouse try to stop your attempts to reconcile your marriage? Is your spouse just being a jerk, on purpose? Is your spouse cold to you? Has your spouse threatened to cut off all contact? Does your spouse ignore your phone calls, letting them all go to voice mail?  Has your spouse moved out and refused to tell you where they have moved to?

These, and many other questions, would be some of the hallmark traits of an obstinate spouse.

Did you know that, as of this writing, this site ranks fourth in Google for the search term “obstinate spouse”? I was surprised to find that out. I think it’s because I have “obstinate spouse” as one of my post tags, and I must have used that a whole lot. Judging from my tag cloud, I’ve used “wayward spouse” a lot more, but I guess there must just be more competition for that term. That, and the fact that a lot of people have difficulty spelling “obstinate”; I don’t blame them, since it’s not an everyday word.

I get a lot of hits from interesting search queries. Take, for instance, the phrase “chicken house of poo.” Pump that into Google, and you’ll find that I rank on the first page (ninth, as of today) for that phrase, because of this post. I’ve also gotten hits for things like “my wayward spouse’s fog talk” (this is a very interesting topic!) and “Red Tara empowerment 2012”. I wonder what visitors searching for the latter would have thought when they reached this site. Hmmm…

If you’re newly arriving at this website, I should tell you that I am dealing with an obstinate spouse. Actually I’m dealing with a wayward spouse who is being obstinate. But, obstinacy is obstinacy. Here’s an example.

She never answers my phone calls, unless it is either Wednesday or Thursday and she is in town wanting to do a doggie custody swap. Everything else goes straight to voice mail, every single time. I tried calling this morning, and it went to voice mail, and the voice mail cut me off after ten seconds. This happened twice. I was beginning to wonder if she had changed her voice mail settings, but it seems that there are no settings for a ten-second cut-off so it was some sort of anomaly. Nevertheless I learned an interesting new trick: I can ping directly into her voice mail by calling mine, and then sending a message to her from there. That way, she won’t have to deal with the annoying embarrassment of sitting at the table with her adulterous partner, hearing her actual cell phone buzz (she always leaves the ringer off).

I say “actual” because she also has one that he gave her, with a totally different phone number. This is a Top Secret Cell Phone, mind you, even though I’ve seen it a half dozen times, and even have seen its phone number. The obstinate spouse likes to have things like Top Secret Cell Phones, and they are all the more necessary when there is a Top Secret Other Person whom they are hiding from you. This Top Secret Other Person is not hidden from other people, though, just from you, because you are the Actual Spouse. (That would be me.) In addition, there are Top Secret Bank Accounts, along with a Top Secret ATM Card. I have seen this Top Secret ATM Card: it is purple, and has giraffes on it. She paid with it last time we went out. Guess she forgot it’s supposed to be Top Secret.

I guess I’m rambling. There’s really not a whole lot to report sometimes, when you’re dealing with an obstinate spouse. I probably won’t have much to report until I see her again in a few days. That is, of course, unless something unexpected happens, like her affair crashes to the ground. I don’t think this is unlikely. Well, it’s 100% likely that it will come crashing to the ground, but I’m just saying that the likelihood of it crashing to the ground very soon is not all that unlikely.

So, while I’m rambling, I’ll just link to another YouTube file. Since I’ve written so much about Top Secret things, here’s a tune from 1983 by the jazz fusion group The Yellowjackets entitled — what else? — “Top Secret”. The guitar player at the beginning is none other than the inimitable Robben Ford. I learned recently, somewhat to my astonishment, that Robben is a long-time practicing Buddhist, at one time a student of the great Tibetan master Chögyam Trungpa.

Okay, I’ll stop rambling now. Here’s the video.