Hoping the tide is turning

A year ago tomorrow we had a beekeeper come to our house. Tonight, my wife is with a gardener who moonlights as an amateur bee keeper. Coincidence? I don’t know.

Last summer, we discovered a lot of bees in our laundry room, and noticed that they seemed to be entering via a crack in the external wall to our back yard. We called a professional bee removal expert, and were careful not to call an exterminator or someone who would harm the bees in any way. With the epidemic of bee colony collapses, we figured we did not want to contribute to that problem, and I personally could not condone poisoning a colony of bees who were pollinating the flowers in our yard, and who were just seeking refuge inside our north-facing wall. That’s exactly what they were doing. They had built a nest, complete with honeycombs, inside the insulation in the wall itself.

The bee removal guy showed up, and he was quite a character. He was an older man, I’d say in his late 50s or early 60s, who had bought the bee removal business from another person who was retiring. He had a lifelong interest in insects, with a particular fascination for bees. He was a fount of information about bees, and knew how to remove them the most humane way possible. He found the hive, and showed it to us — you can see it in the featured picture for this post — and put it inside a small bucket for safe keeping. It was incredibly fragrant, redolent of the flowers the bees had been pollinating. He was also very gentle with the bees, and, once he had closed up the hole through which the bees were entering, he used his “bee vac” to capture the stragglers that were coming home for the night. It was sad, in a way, because not all of them made it, and he said that, if he could, he’d stay all night and catch them all, but that simply wasn’t feasible. His bee vac, by the way, was simply a hand-held vacuum fitted with a small plastic carboy that was tipped with a hose. He’d catch the bees with the hose, and they’d gently be sucked into the carboy and not harmed at all. It was quite impressive to watch him at work.

As I mentioned above, tonight my wife is in the house of an amateur beekeeper. The adulterer, in addition to being a professional landscape gardener, keeps bees and chickens. How do I know this? Well, he broadcasts it all on his professional Facebook page. I’m sure my wife thinks this is all swell and stuff, and that he’s such a wonderful and compassionate guy. Well, you know, except for all that adultery stuff. So why am I mentioning all this?

Well, I’ve been beginning to see hopeful signs that the tide is beginning to change, and to shift back to my direction. I’ve said this numerous times before, but my wife is a city girl, and I just cannot see her taking to rural life in a dinky little town very well. We did that for a few years and she was so happy to get back to the city. Now she’s living in a town that is a fifth the size of the one we lived in a few years ago. On top of all that, she is probably thinking that she can replace her income and professional activities that she has here, in a major conurbation of over 2 million people, by starting anew in a town with barely 2000 inhabitants. That’s not very likely.

The hopeful signs I had today are many. First, she texted me to ask me to deposit some money into her account. I don’t know why, but she needed a specific sum. She was expecting a paycheck to come in, and it hadn’t by the time that she was in town this past week. She does have a couple of other accounts at a different bank, and I simply wonder why she doesn’t use those — unless her funds are running dry there as well. That paycheck did show up yesterday, so I’ll simply deposit it, and that will be that. Second, her text ran rather long, and at the end she told me that she was going to eat the second piece of banana bread that I gave her the other day. This is significant. I’m pretty sure she texted me while the adulterer was away, and I cannot imagine that she’d eat that in his presence; if she does, she’d almost certainly have to lie about its provenance. Anything that turns her mind to me at this point is very, very welcome.

I also learned something today that inspires great hope in me. My wife has been accompanying a choir in town for about a year now; she’s had many such gigs over the past, and this is by far the most professional and gratifying one she’s worked with. They pay well, the quality of the musicians is high, and they repertoire is not very demanding. It’s kind of a win-win-win situation. Well, except that, when they asked her back for another season a couple of weeks ago, she declined. I guess she felt that life at Camp You-Know-Where would be better. Suddenly there has been a reversal, and she has accepted another season with them. This is very significant. To me, it means that she’s keeping her options open, and recognizing that there isn’t much of a future up there in Podunksville. She at least has some income secured from this fall. That’s a good thing, because she’ll be nearly broke when she does finally come home.

If that’s not enough, I learned that she spoke to her family for the first time in two months. She called them. We have used Google Voice to make these calls in the past, and that’s how I could see she had called them. I don’t know what was discussed or whom she talked with, but I suspect that she fessed up and told them that she had moved in with the adulterer. I wonder what they think of all this. I can’t imagine that they find it very comforting.

On top of all this, there are the many things I have heard about the adulterer over the past seven months, things she has gotten the chance to see  up close and personal for a couple of months now. He has two failed marriages under his belt. He has a history of adulterous relationships. He is unable to sustain healthy relationships. He is insecure and defensive. He is overly direct and somewhat crass in his speech. He cannot anticipate my wife’s needs or read her mind. And he has a lot of female friends. This latter has the potential to sink the boat outright. My wife will be exposed to these women, she will be suspicious of their motives, and she will get jealous. It’s not too unlikely that she’ll discover evidence of him flirting with them, if not outright philandering.

My sense is now that we are in the final stretch of the process, the one in which the affair finally implodes and reconciliation soon follows. There are so many pressures that are conspiring to take this adulterous relationship out that I simply do not see how it can go on for much longer. Thus I remain hopeful, and continue to be guardedly optimistic for a sea change in the near future.