Today is Thursday. This is one of the two days my wife is in town each week. The normal rhythms of our interactions for the past several months have been that she surfaces on a Wednesday morning and leaves on a Thursday afternoon, and I see her at some point on one of those days. The ruse is to exchange “custody” of our dog, one week with me, one with her. This past week was her week, and this would normally mean that she would contact me on Wednesday morning to arrange for me to come get the dog.
Not this week, though. You see, last week, amidst all the pushback she gave me was a statement about how she did not like having the dog shuffled back and forth. Personally, I agree: I don’t think it’s a good thing for the dog to be shuffled back and forth, and since the dog is clearly much happier here at home, she really should just stay here. Last week she did ask me if she could have the dog “for the week,” so I’m guessing that somehow that a week now means something more than seven days.
She has been quite public about the affair with her various blog and Facebook postings, and from these I’ve seen that there has been a visitor up there at Camp You-Know-What. This visitor is an older male friend of the adulterer. There is a trail of public information on this person, for a variety of reasons, and one of the things I learned is that this guy had a fairly troubled life that led to at least one divorce. Somehow I had suspected this, and was not surprised.
I’ve just had the sneaking suspicion that, with this other failure-at-relationships type around, my wife would look to these two older men, one more grizzled than the other is bald, for some destructively awful relationship advice. Sure, I let my imagination run wild with it, but if I were to tell you that I think they sat around a table and listened to her slander me prodigiously, I probably wouldn’t be too wide of the mark. And if I were to say that I imagined this grizzled, coarse visitor to bluntly tell her to screw me over in some way — you know, a “make him get used to it” kind of attitude — I probably wouldn’t be too off-base, either. So it doesn’t really come as much of a surprise to me that this is happening.
I do, however, foresee a potential shitstorm of surprises in her future. First, I know that she is planning an overseas trip with the adulterer, and that this is supposed to take place in about a week. Second, I know that her parents will be receiving the letter I wrote them in the next few days, and almost certainly before this trip might begin. Not only that, but my parents are planning to send her parents a card to offer their condolences, and this will certainly cause some extra ripples. Third, it seems that my wife has become rather skillful at compartmentalizing her life, especially in the ways she disseminates information. She seems to have several filters through which things go, and her Facebook page bears this out: there is a small amount of public information; the rest is controlled through what I imagine are various privacy settings. Her blog is public, but I do not think she has broadcast its existence too widely, and it seems to be for a select few friends overseas. I do not think her parents know of its existence at all. I imagine they would be mortified to see what she’s doing. They just seem to have taken a big step back from the whole process and are trying to avoid confrontation; that’s my take on it, anyway. She does come from a culture that does value the avoidance of confrontation and the importance of mediation of conflicts, so I guess that makes sense.
Taking out my imaginary crystal ball — and why shouldn’t I, for a guy can dream, can’t he? — here’s what I foretell:
My wife’s family will receive the card I sent; this is likely to arrive in the next few days. They may choose to reach out to me, but will feel very awkward about doing so. However, it is very likely that they will do at least a few, somewhat predictable things. First, they will reach out to my wife and tell her that they received a letter from me. The will describe its contents, remark on the fact that it was handwritten, and seems to have been skillfully translated. There may be other aspects of this conversation that I’ll get to in crystal ball reading number two, below. Second, they will consult various spiritual guides and mentors. I can pretty much count on this happening. My mother-in-law is a spiritual dabbler par excellence, and I don’t mean this in a derogatory manner: she is genuinely curious, and explores all sorts of avenues. She will likely, at a minimum, consult a priest who also does spiritual-medium work. My father-in-law has recently received some sort of credentials in energy healing; I’m not sure entirely what this involves, but it likely has a connection with Reiki. He will likely, at a minimum, talk to an energy worker who has treated him for many years. This man is purported to be a very effective healer, and also is said to be rather clairvoyant. I’d say it’s 90% likely that he gets advice from him. Third, they will also likely consult a family friend who is a fortune teller. The net result of all of these consultations will very likely be the revelation that their daughter is on a path of destruction, and that they can either intervene to derail it, or sit idly by and watch her life implode.
So that’s crystal ball reading number one. Reading number two deals with the confluence of these likely events, and their likely outcomes:
They will intervene, finally. Her father will receive an unambiguous message that tells him that he must intervene. Her mother will receive a message about her daughter walking through a self-induced pit of despair and needing guidance out of that void. The fortune teller will read the various life cycles and talk about luck trajectories, but will be somewhat non-committal, as the key players (i.e. my wife and me) will not be able to be consulted. This is where things could get interesting. They could reach out to me, by phone, email, mail, or Skype. If they choose to speak to me, they will make sure that my brother-in-law is there, as he speaks English, or they will get a translator. They will reach out to my wife, and there will be arguments, disagreements, heated discussions, and fights that send her storming away from the phone. They will discover that she is intending to go out of town, and will wonder how she could be so callous at such a difficult time for the family. They may discover her blog, and they will not be happy with what they see.
But, you know, I don’t have a crystal ball lying around the house. I just have my intuition and my imagination, and they serve me well enough. I don’t discount the possibility of any or all of the above occurring. I do anticipate things getting very dicey up there at Camp C-S in the very near future.
So once again, dear reader, it seems that the old adage is true: patience is a virtue. As you can see from my archives here, I’ve been writing this blog for ten months now. I really thought that, by this time, the affair would be old history and we would have begun reconciling. It seems that things in life never quite work out like you imagine they might. You just have to sit tight and enjoy the show.Read article for donation information.