Karma Is Weird

Here we are again, and another Wednesday has come and gone. In months gone by, this would be the day when my wife would contact me, either to pick up the dog, or to drop her off. Not these days. She slammed the wall of silence shut four weeks ago today, and has not reopened it — yet.

Since I have not seen her, I have been somewhat hampered in my efforts to reach out to her. I used to use these Wednesdays (or sometimes Thursdays) as opportunities to connect: we would exchange “custody” of the dog, and I’d get a “date night” out of it, and at the same time would usually drop off some little goodie or other; you know, the whole “giving presence” thing. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, then you’d need to check out Marriage Fitness.) But, with the knowledge that my wife would normally be in town today, I set out to drop off a little package of goodies for her on my way to work.

Since I had to make a deposit at the bank, I swung by a branch that was near the colleague’s house that my wife stays at when she’s in town. The plan was simple: I’d make the deposit, and then drop by the colleague’s house and leave the little package for her there. So, I park my car at the bank and go inside to one of the cash machines to make a deposit. Wouldn’t you know — right in the middle of that transaction my wife goes walking by right outside the bank. Since I’m in the middle of a transaction, I couldn’t just run outside to say hello, so I wrapped it up as fast as I could and then exited the bank. It had only been about 30 seconds, but she was long gone. As I drove away, I was that she was headed down an alley toward the colleague’s house.

Well, there went that plan. Since she keeps her phone shut off, I couldn’t exactly call her to let her know that I’d stop by. So, I just went to work.

While at work, I emailed the colleague to see if it would be okay to drop the package off later in the evening. The colleague said that, as far as she was concerned, I’d be welcome to drop by anytime. (She emphasized this by writing, “Really.” as a separate sentence.) So, I did drop by on my way home to work, and I chatted with the colleague briefly. Actually, she invited me in, and said I’d be welcome to wait for my wife to arrive. Her arrival was more than an hour off, and since she had no idea I’d be there, I declined. She asked about me, and about our dog, and I said everything was fine. She accepted the package for me, and then told me she’d relate the message (about me and the dog) to my wife, and would give her the package. This is a bit odd, as the colleague knows all about the adulterer, as far as I can determine. I believe she feels really uneasy about what my wife is doing, and I don’t blame her.

So then I came home.

Now, for those Buddhists out there, I’m sure you know that “karma” essentially means “action.” Everything is karma. The fact that I put myself in the eventual path of my wife today, well, that was karma. The fact that she walked right by that bank, that was karma, too. The fact that I missed an opportunity to interact with her, that’s also karma. The fact that this colleague was so helpful is nothing other than karma.

But there’s another action that has happened since my last post, and that’s karma as well. As I wrote in that post, my wife rather unexpectedly unblocked me from her Facebook account. Alas, that lasted all of a few days, no more. As of yesterday morning, she had blocked me again. Apparently my mere presence in her life is so odious that she just cannot take it. Well, truth be told, it’s not me, but rather how my presence reminds her of her actions, and of the errors of her ways. That’s the bigger problem.

Thanksgiving, Silence, and Hubbub

Yesterday was Thanksgiving. Looking back a year, this was the first holiday that I spent apart from my wife. She had just launched her affair, which at that point was just a few weeks old, and actually her original plan was to take that affair, which was initially an emotional (i.e. non-physical) affair, physical over the Thanksgiving holiday. The rationale for this, I guess, was the two-fold. First, she felt, as all adulterers tend to feel, that she’d met her soul mate; second, she assumed that I would be out of town visiting family. That turned out not to be the case: I quite stupidly (and stubbornly) decided to remain in town. This meant that I got to suffer the full sting of her walking out to be “with friends” for five days. It was probably among the most painful five days of this whole ordeal. It was after those five days that I shut down any and all talk of the adulterer, to such an extent that, even now, she refuses to talk to me about it — and that’s okay.

So now, here we are, a full year later. It’s been a rather strange few days. Oh, I’m not alone this year: I flew out on Wednesday night to visit family, and I’m with them right now. I have no idea where my wife is, though.

You see, Wednesdays are the days on which I’d normally see my wife: she’d come into town for a rehearsal, spend the night at a colleague’s, and then leave on Thursday afternoon. I know her movements quite well at this point. This is the time frame during which we’d swap “custody” of our dog, and I would get my weekly “date night” in. But, she has avoided me for the past three weeks now, and so I pretty much expected she would just blow me off again this past Wednesday.

She did.

Fortunately, I had made some alternate plans. I had reached out to her to try to find out what her Thanksgiving plans were, and had gotten no response. So, I began to make plans to take the dog along with me on my trip. This meant getting a health certificate (which I wheedled down from $88 to $30), and booking space on the plane for a pet carrier. With all that accomplished, and with no communication from my wife whatsoever, I prepared to leave for work on Wednesday with the dog in tow.

But before I left, something truly curious happened: I logged onto Facebook, which I rarely visit these days, and had received a message from an old college friend. I had changed my “profile” picture a few days previous to one of me and my wife, and apart from the flurry of “likes” that ensued, I got this message from this friend. We were at college together many years ago, and I actually have not seen him for well over ten years, as he lives in another country. He has never met my wife, but knows her virtually through me, and through Facebook, since he’s on her friend list. His message was simple: he asked me if I were back with my wife, and if so, to say hello.

My response was also quite simple. I said that I wasn’t sure what he meant: I am and always will be 100% committed to my wife. He happened to be online, so he pinged me back right away, saying that this was all very weird, as he had a person on his “friends” list of my wife’s exact name (using her maiden name, of course), and this person listed some other person (the adulterer, of course) as her partner. I was about to reply, when he pinged again, asking whether it could be some big mistake. Perhaps, he suggested, my wife had erased her account, and some other person with her name appeared on his list. (I know this is basically impossible, but he did seem genuinely confused.) I told him that I had no idea, and that I was seldom on Facebook anyway. He apologized for the confusion, and we wished each other well.

Knowing this friend quite well, I know him to be quite curious, and at times also somewhat naïve. I expected that he would get in touch with my wife immediately thereafter, and ask questions to ascertain her identity, i.e. “are you really so-and-so’s wife?” And, with my wife’s apparent Facebook addiction (I’ve heard from many people that she copiously posts pictures and other things there), coupled with her general lack of responsibilities, I imagined he would find her online and they’d have a dialogue.

This could very well be what happened. Later that day, I discovered something very curious: my wife had unblocked me on Facebook. Now, she blocked me way back in January, because she didn’t want me to know what she was up to. But, while blocking a user prevents that person from following your profile, it also makes the blocked user’s profile invisible to you as well. I believe she probably unblocked me to see the picture I’d put on my profile page. This has got to be somewhat of a shock to her system.

Now, let me be clear: I did not change that photo to provoke a response. I did it because I’m standing for my marriage. I don’t know (or particularly care) what my wife has said to others about me and our situation, but I have kept my entire marriage crisis private from just about anyone who might know me or my wife. The only people who do know, outside of a few family members, are people that my wife has told. These people generally do not talk about this with me.

So, I guess I’m awaiting the blowback from this latest revelation, if any. It’s kind of hard for me to imagine where things are going to go from here. I’m pretty certain that this will just destabilize her adulterous relationship even further.

As for now, I’m just enjoying the time with family, relaxing and soaking up the sunshine.

 

The Avoidance Continues

My wife is in town right now, and even as I type this, she is not more than a few miles from here. And today, she was likely not more than a couple of blocks from our home, either visiting a friend, or at a rehearsal. So you would think that maybe she would contact me to pick up the dog for her belated week of custody, right?

Nope.

We are now entering week three of avoidance, round three. The first round happened in August and lasted five weeks. The second round began in September and lasted for three weeks. This round looks to be of a similar duration to the last one.

The main difference now is that we’ve had a “talk,” in which I pretty much drew lines in the sand. She knows I’m committed and will not be going away, not now, not ever. She also believes herself to be committed to her “path,” which she swears up and down does not and never will involve me.

Bollocks.

They say that, in the process of attempting to reconcile a distressed marriage, things always get worse before they get better. I guess I’ve been lucky, in that things never really got that bad, at least in comparison with some stories I’ve heard. So I expect this phase to have a number of bumps and ups and downs, as my wife’s soul gets battered through some serious turbulence. Of course, she takes this out on me in the form of pushback when I do get to see her, and then avoidance that then follows.

Why the avoidance? It’s simple, really. I am an unpleasant reminder of the true reality of her life: she is married, and is committing adultery.

Now, adulterers are a pretty crazy lot. They think up is down, left is right, and right is wrong. They think that the time-tested morals that are universal to most cultures and spiritual traditions simply do not apply to them. They believe that they somehow possess a karmic “get-out-of-jail-free” card, when no such thing exists. The craziest thing, of course, is that they think that their affairs can last forever.

It’s true that you may hear stories of adulterers who had long-term affairs that went on for years and years, right under the nose of the oblivious spouse. I think that these situations happen most often in checked-out relationships in which the spouses are just cohabitating. Long-term affairs have got to be pretty rare in situations where the faithful spouse remains committed and is applying the inexorable yet gentle pressure of unconditional love. That pressure has the power to unseat the most formidable of opponents.

Not that my wife’s adulterer is a formidable opponent. He’s not. He’ll be a thing of the past in due course. But right now, this is as much about her as it is about him. She has issues in her own life above and beyond me that she simply does not want to face. The issues are, in fact, really just one issue: adult responsibilities. You know, things like making a living, saving for retirement, and actively helping your spouse to build the life you want to lead. For the past year, she has decided to check out and to avoid any such responsibilities.

The problem is that you just can’t check out on life without it checking back in on you. It just doesn’t work out that way.

So what do I expect for tomorrow? More avoidance, that’s what. I seriously doubt that she will try to contact me at all. I also don’t think that she will try to stop by the house to pick up the dog while I’m gone. She’ll just spend another week in the land of obliviousness, and will probably want to pick up the dog next week, just before Thanksgiving.

Of course, a lot of things could happen between now and then. Her behavior right now is indicative of things not being all that healthy in her “relationship” with the adulterer. I imagine she feels to be under a lot of pressure right now. It’s got to be hard to live a lie 24/7, especially when you know deep down that it is a lie (adulterers all know this) and that, no matter how hard she might try to devote herself to this “path” she’s on, it’s never not going to be a lie.

Well, that’s enough for the musings for today. I’ve had a long work day already, and have another one lined up for tomorrow. I’m still awaiting the inevitable demise of the affair. It’s coming, rest assured, and it will probably be a huge surprise when it does happen.

 

Today is Wednesday

There are only two things standing between me and reconciling my marriage: time and money. Please allow me to explain.

Today is Wednesday. Today is the day that my wife comes into town. Today is the day that we normally see each other and swap “custody” of our dog.

Something tells me that today is different.

My wife has been in avoidance mode for the past two weeks. She did not contact me last week in any way to try to collect the dog for her week of “custody.” Something tells me that this pattern is likely to continue this week. The one thing I can point to is that Thanksgiving is next week, and she’ll probably want to take the dog then. That being the case, she may just rationalize an agenda that involves blowing me off for another week.

It’s just gone 8:00 a.m. here, and I normally would not hear from her before 9:00 a.m. anyway.

Still, something tells me that today is different. I am just getting this weird kind of “sea change” feeling. It’s certainly as if something has shifted inside of me.

Honestly, despite all of my pontifications and and assertions about doing what I can and leaving the rest up to karma, there has been a side of me that has really held on — for dear life, almost — to this situation for almost a year now. It has mostly manifested as a desire for information, and honestly that information has been easy to come by. There are numerous public outlets (e.g. Facebook) via which I can get information about where she is and what she’s doing. I have visited some of these sites, not just because I wanted that information, but also because I felt it gave me insight into her mentality. In truth, it did this as well, but then there was also a third aspect: I’d visit these sites because I miss her.

That’s right. I miss my wife. I miss her each and every day that she’s not here. I miss her terribly. Even though I would sometimes see things that were unpleasant to me (e.g. pictures of her and the adulterer together) I still just wanted to have some sort of contact with her presence. In a way, it was kind of pathetic. Understandable, but pathetic.

Somehow, I just don’t feel the need to do this anymore. Perhaps this has something to do with other reconciliations I’m hearing about right now. I’ve learned of a couple of these in the past week, and have gained a lot of insight into the mind of the wayward spouse as a result. That insight has given me tremendous hope, and also allowed me to loosen my grip on the situation such that (I believe) things can truly change.

The insight I’ve gleaned, both from these experiences as well as others, is basically this:

  • Affairs are addictive forms of behavior. They really do act on the wayward spouses’ brains in the way a drug would.
  • Affairs have no future. They pretty much always end.
  • Affairs fulfill at best just a handful of emotional/personal needs that weren’t getting filled by the marriage.
  • Since the marriage fulfilled most of those emotional/personal needs, the absence of the marriage leads the wayward spouse to feel empty and unfulfilled most of the time, even and especially when he or she is with the affair partner.
  • The wayward spouse knows what he or she is doing is wrong, but due to the addictive nature of affairs, finds it virtually impossible to stop.
  • The addiction of the affair causes the wayward spouse to do things that he or she would never otherwise have considered, e.g. to lie, be deceitful, cause tremendous pain to others, be insensitive and callous, etc.
  • The wayward spouse has a truly wily mind, that is very creative in making the rationalizations it needs to sustain the affair.
  • The wayward spouse may even rationalize sticking to an affair that obviously is not working out (and that obviously has no future), mainly out of a stubbornness of ego that has to prove that it has made the “right” choice.
  • At some point, the glasses come off, the walls crumble, and the house of cards that is the affair blows down. This pretty much always happens.

Somehow, I just have the feeling that we’re finally getting there. The holidays are upon us once again, and there will be serious guilt on my wife’s conscience and emptiness in her heart if she tries to spend those again with a family that truly is not (and never will be) hers. I somehow find it hard to imagine that she’ll be able to weather the holidays this year without some sort of breakdown.

This is why the continued avoidance makes sense to me. It helps her to sustain the impossible just a wee bit longer. But the reality is that her lifestyle is totally unsustainable, and that it will simply have to come to an end.

One simple manifestation of this unsustainability manifested this weekend. I checked our bank account online, and found that her account (which she originally opened for business purposes many years ago) had gone seriously overdrawn. She had done some online shopping, and apparently had not checked how little money she had in her account. Honestly, this made no sense to me at all. I thought about what I should do: should I just let it ride and allow her to sweat it out a bit? Or, should I do the right thing and cover her overdraft?

I did the right thing.

There’s only one pool of money in a marriage anyway, so I covered her overdraft. Then I sent her an email to let her know I’d done this. No response . No acknowledgement whatsoever. Just complete avoidance. It’s not that I could really afford to cover her overdraft; in reality, it will make finances much tighter for me this month as a result. But, I just value my marriage more.

I’ve said it before, I said it at the beginning of this post,  and I’ll say it again: there are only two things standing between me and reconciling my marriage right now: time and money. I’ve got plenty of the former, but not a lot of the latter. If you, dear reader, enjoy or value this blog or my writing, you may kindly donate through the box below. (The amount just a default, but is editable.) I’ll thank you, and this blog will thank you; eventually, my wife will thank you too.

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A Few Words about Deceit

Jeff Murrah’s blog, Survive Your Partner’s Affair, is one that I visit from time to time. Although I don’t share his spiritual path (he writes from a Christian perspective, and I’m a Buddhist; if you are Christian, you will likely find his blog very  helpful) I often find his posts very insightful.

One of his recent posts deals with the feelings of “cleverness” that a wayward spouse likely has in being able to hide his or her affair from the betrayed spouse. In my case, one full year later, my wife still hides her affair from me, despite its being revealed by me a year ago. (This is quite significant, but a topic for another post.) You can read Murrah’s article here.

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Avoidance

It’s funny: I’m looking through my posts, and about two weeks ago I posted an article by Mort Fertel that deals in part with the topic of this post: avoidance. The title of that article was “How to Know if Your Marriage Will Survive” and, while I have no doubt that my marriage will survive, the idea of avoidance has reappeared in a sort of ironic way in the past few days.

To recap that article, one of the most reliable predictors of whether your marriage will hit trouble lies in the avoidance of conflict. This is a big counterintuitive, as one might typically think that a healthy relationship is a harmonious one. But, being a student of harmony (seriously: this has been my profession, i.e. musical harmony) there cannot be any interesting relationship that progresses without some form of dissonance. It is the dissonance that compels the movement forward to resolution, and pretending that there is no dissonance in a relationship just stores dissatisfactions and other sources of potential conflict to arise at some later point.

Thus it was in my marriage, by and large. My wife and I did not fight very much, and we often just let problems ride. Over the 1-2 years preceding our marital crisis, these problems began to resurface and demand attention. Neither of us really knew what to do, nor did we have the skills needed to deal with them. So, it was kind of inevitable that there would eventually be a blow-up of sorts.

This week finds us me in a different kind of avoidance. I am literally being avoided by my wife. Last week there was conflict, but it wasn’t an actual fight. Instead, it was her prevarications and justifications meeting my firm position of standing my ground for our marriage, a stand that was coupled by an occasional stern phrase or two. I don’t think I’m wrong in sensing that she was under a lot of pressure, and that she really did not want to have to deal with all of the issues she has created and exacerbated over the past year; instead, she’d just like to walk away from them all and allow them to disappear into the ether, like so much mist that disperses as the sun rises. Indeed, she exhorted me to just “walk away,” which, of course, I refused to do. I don’t think I’m wrong in saying now that she likely realizes that she is in an intractable situation, one in which she truly has lost control, and in which she will not find her imagined “happy ending.” No, there’s just tragedy ahead for her and the adulterer; that’s predictable.

Last week, she made many threats. She threatened to cut me off entirely, to never see me again, and to take the dog away and never allow me to see her again, either. I was prepared for her to begin to act out on some of those threats, perhaps in an unpredictable and likely incomplete way. But I was a bit more prepared for what she’s doing now, which is just to ignore it all and hope it will all go away. At least, that seems to be what’s happening right now.

She was in town yesterday and the day before. I know this for a fact, because I have seen the purchases she made on our bank records. I know she was here. Wednesday came and went without any contact from her. Thursday did likewise. I had an unexpected cancelation in my otherwise packed schedule yesterday that left me with a couple of free hours, so I went home to do a bit of thinking. Well, actually I went home and did a bit of self-hypnosis first (you’re all aware by now that I do this regularly). Then, I had an idea occur to me: I could deliver the gift my wife had rejected last week to the colleague’s house where she had been spending the night. It was the middle of the day, so I was reasonably sure that she would not be there, but would almost certainly return before the adulterer picked her up — in his brand, spanking new pickup truck (it’s a grey Chevy that looks like it gets about 18 m.p.g.; I’ve seen the pictures) — to take her back to his place out in the sticks. A magazine had come in the mail for her the day before, so I thought it a good opportunity to deliver that, along with the gift that I had readied.

I had already wrapped a couple of the gift items up, using paper that is exactly her taste: I wrapped up her copy of the letter to her parents, as well as a little box of chocolates. These I placed inside a mailing envelope, along with the magazine. I wrote her name (in Japanese, no less) on the outside of the envelope, and then set out.

I got to the colleague’s house, and indeed nobody seemed to be there. I quietly left the package on the porch and then drove away. Arriving at my next appointment, I emailed the colleague to let her know that I’d left a package, and to apologize for any intrusion, although I was sure she’d understand. I also emailed my wife to let her know that I’d left the package there before, although she likely got the email after she found the package. The colleague later emailed to let me know that it was fine, and that she would make sure my wife got the package; she further said that she would be happy to help us in whatever ways she could. She said that, although she didn’t really know the full extent of the situation between us (actually, she likely knows far more than she is letting on, and certainly knows far more than she should), she hoped that things would work out to our between us. I did not avail myself of the opportunity to tell her that, if that were truly her wish, she should not allow my wife to stay there anymore, and that she should not allow my wife to talk about either our marriage or her relationship with the adulterer. In fact, I did not avail myself of saying anything beyond thanking her and telling her that things were fine for me, but very busy.

My wife never contacted me at all. That was to be expected.

The other thing she did not do was to stop by the house to pick up the dog. I half expected she might do that, and then leave me a note of some sort. Instead, it seems like she has just side-stepped the whole issue.

One thing I know for sure about my wife at this point is that her life is wholly incoherent. She is unable to make a plan that she can stay with for more than a few hours, it seems. I don’t think she can plan things out even for a week at a time. It just appears to me that she is nearly totally ruled by her emotions at this point, and that these emotions are thrashing her up against the jagged cliffs of her conscience again and again. Her response is just to pretend like those cliffs are not there, and that her internal emotional life is not turbulent. She can do that, but I’m pretty sure that I know the consequence of this suppression: panic attacks, eating problems, and insomnia. This is pretty much what happens to her every time she avoids things.

Also in avoidance are her parents, from whom I’ve heard absolutely nothing in the intervening days since I sent them the letter. It’s been almost two weeks now, and I’ve not heard a peep. I don’t expect to, either. I’d hoped they’d reach out, or at least send a card or letter, but it seems like even that is too uncomfortable for them. I can understand their shame  of their daughter having betrayed me, and how difficult it must be for them to deal with this humiliation. I can imagine that they feel quite powerless.

Not in avoidance is me. I’m engaging and will continue to engage. The end is in sight. I do believe this is true. The pushback is a good sign. The avoidance is a typical after-effect. The next week or so could be critical.

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Weirdness Descends

Today is Wednesday. Another week has passed since I last saw my wife. The last time I saw her, she gave me some pretty serious pushback. And, in the interim, she went overseas. This is confirmed; have have seen the photos. (Well, just a photo, but it was enough to serve as proof.) A trip overseas, with the adulterer. Weird, right?

Well, for starters, that would likely explain the severity of her pushback last time. I’m sure she felt pretty stressed out and pressured. In fact, I imagine that she is under a lot of pressure from him to get me out of her life. But I’m just not going away, see, and that’s a problem — for him, and, by extension, for her.

Last week, she made all sorts of threats. One of those threats was to take our dog away and not to let me see her or the dog again. So far, she has not made good on that threat. Normally, she’ll contact me once she arrives in town, and ask me to drop the dog off. Today, there was no contact at all. She left her cell phone turned off and made no effort to get in touch with me. I spent all day at work, and came home expecting to see the dog gone; I had packed a little gift in the dog’s carrier just in case, but she never came.

There’s a word for this: avoidance.

That’s where we’re at now. She is avoiding me. Last week, she ended a two-week phase of avoidance, and went for justification via rationalization. That didn’t work out so well. I can see right through those justifications, each and every one of them. So now we’re back to avoidance. I did tell her last week that taking responsibility for her actions — something she claimed she had done — would require actually facing the facts of what she did and then actively making amends with those she hurt. This is difficult, though; it’s much easier just to bury your head in the sand. That’s what she’s chosen to do instead, it seems: to bury her head in the sand.

There’s a problem with burying your head in the sand, though. When you do that, the universe lights a fire under your rear end. It pretty much never fails. Right now that fire is building, and I’m sure it’s not comfortable.

You know, there’s another person who is getting a rear-end burn right now, and that’s the adulterer. He’s had his head in the sand (to put it politely) for over a year as well. Actually, he’s likely had his head in the sand about adultery in general for quite a number of years. Sooner or later, he’s going to learn that he has not met his soul mate, and that he has zero chance of spending the rest of his life with my wife.

Anyway, aside from all that weirdness, I’ve been doing my best to take care of myself, and to take care of business at home. The house was a mess, largely because I’ve been working so much. I had a tiny bit of time this morning to get things straightened out. (I think my lucky stars for letting hypnosis help me with this, believe it or not; I’ve got a session called “Stop Being Messy.” It’s been truly helpful, and worked so fast in making real changes in me that it really convinced me how beneficial hypnosis can be.) I’ve also been trying to get my financial house in order (I’ve got “Financial Planning Mindset” for that) and have been dealing with general anxiety and stress levels. (Hmmm, let’s see, for these I’ve got “Overcome Fear and Anxiety,” “Stop Feeling Trapped,” and “Stop Thinking the Worst;” I think I must sound like a hypnosis junkie now…) I’ve also recommitted myself to learning Japanese, since I’m really going to need this once my wife and I reconcile. (Yes, I even have a track for this: it’s called “Better Language Learning.” So at this point I’m working pretty hard on my fixings. The financial stuff has by far been the most stressful; as many can attest, there’s nothing quite like a marital crisis to wreak havoc on your financial health. But, I’m hoping that slowly the worst is now receding into the distance behind me.

I am also hoping that the worst of the marital crisis is beginning to recede into that same distance, but at this point it’s hard to tell. They do say that it always gets worse before it gets better, and that totally makes sense: an obstinate spouse is never going to push back harder than when his or her story really starts to fall apart.

Okay, for now, I think it’s time to put a long day behind me, and to get some rest for an even longer one up ahead. As always, dear reader, I thank you for stopping by to read these words. I hope they bring some solace to you if you are unfortunate enough to find yourself in a similar situation; believing that there is hope, and that it does make sense to take a stand for what’s right is much easier with the knowledge that others are fighting that same good fight.

Oh, and if you feel so inspired, please feel free to donate to this blog. Consider it like buying me a virtual beer or two (or insert beverage of your choice, or whatever). Just click the link below. You can edit that amount that shows up there; it’s not written in stone.

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