I’ve written about how much I miss my wife before, and I guess it’s as part of the journey of ups and downs toward reconciliation that I go through periods in which I really miss my wife. This is one such period right now.
I guess it’s exacerbated a bit by the fact that I’m sick right now — picked up a nasty cold over the weekend, and am now rehabilitating — but I really do miss my wife. When I saw her on Sunday, it was the first time in over a month that we had face-to-face contact. She has not seen her dog — her prize possession — since the end of October, and she has not set foot in this house since some time in August. It seems that she’s holding out, even as the walls crumble. I hope they crumble soon, and fast.
This month is a triple-whammy month. I did not have this blog a year ago, so I did not write about it then, although it is probably recapped in one of my earliest posts. This month, December, is the month in which three significant events occur: my wife’s birthday, Christmas, and our anniversary. These all happen within the space of two weeks. Last year, she was living in this house still, but for each of those events she abandoned me to be with the adulterer. The pain was awful. This year, she is co-habitating with the adulterer, so she does not have to actually go through the motions of abandonment. That’s all been taken care of ahead of time.
A couple of weeks ago, I had a very strong vision that she would be home in time for her birthday. I’m not really certain where this vision came from, except that it happened, and it was a very clear, intuitive signal. I’m not psychic or anything like that, but it was like a beacon of hope that just came form parts unknown. I do not discount the very real likelihood of this vision becoming a reality.
Honestly, my sense is that she’s struggling now. Really struggling. The aftermath of my appearance at her concert very likely sent some waves through that diseased relationship she clings to. I imagine the adulterer was quite furious about it, actually. I can imagine that the blame game has begun. Coupled with this very likely is avoidance: the adulterer certainly should know by now that my wife has quite an explosive temper, and that arguing with her is totally unproductive. And he certainly should have the idea by this point that, no matter what he tries, he simply will not be successful at sustaining that immoral relationship much longer.
Anyway, those are just some random musings on this crisp morning, as I sit here, looking out the window at the naked trees under the grey, wintry skies. If you are a prayer-oriented person, I would greatly appreciate your prayers at this point, both for myself and my reconciliation efforts, as well as (and especially) for my wife, and her exit from the fog.