Jeff Murrah’s blog, Survive Your Partner’s Affair, is one that I visit from time to time. Although I don’t share his spiritual path (he writes from a Christian perspective, and I’m a Buddhist; if you are Christian, you will likely find his blog very helpful) I often find his posts very insightful.
One of his recent posts deals with the feelings of “cleverness” that a wayward spouse likely has in being able to hide his or her affair from the betrayed spouse. In my case, one full year later, my wife still hides her affair from me, despite its being revealed by me a year ago. (This is quite significant, but a topic for another post.) You can read Murrah’s article here.