My name is Rodion and I live in the Pacific Northwest. I’m in my early 40s, and have spent many years working in academia. I’m currently living through a very serious marital crisis, the origins of which you can read about here. This situation has been unfolding since October 2011, and continues to this day. I was told at the outset that this would be a real roller coaster of emotions and experiences, and also forewarned that it would be a marathon as well. I didn’t realize at the time how true this would be. I began writing this blog basically as a means of journaling my experiences, externalizing them and giving myself a chance to reflect upon them. In the process, I’ve had a few insights that have been helpful to me. I felt it would be appropriate to share my experiences and insights with others who unfortunately find themselves in similar situations to mine.
It took me a few days after “D-Day” (the discovery of my wife’s affair) to get some clarity about my crisis and how I might deal with it. Since early November 2011, my intention has been to reconcile my marriage fully. This has been and continues to be difficult, since my wife is still involved with her affair partner and does not think reconciliation is necessary. I, on the other hand, know that the affair will end, sooner rather than later, and that when it does finally come crashing to the ground that she will be looking to reconcile. Waiting out the affair while simultaneously trying to engage my wife in positive ways is tricky, but it can (and should!) be done. You certainly do not need your spouse’s cooperation to turn things around; don’t believe anyone who might tell you otherwise. You’ll find in my posts the highlights and lowlights of my process of trying to bring about reconciliation.
Okay, so there is one confession I do need to make: “Rodion” isn’t my real name, but rather my nom de plume. I prefer not to violate the privacy of my wife or anyone else, so I do need to be sensitive in protecting the identities of all concerned. Rest assured that what you read here are real stories, and that whatever advice is given or related (i.e. passed along from authorites) is real advice. I’m not an expert myself — I’m just an ordinary guy — but I do have and will continue to provide links to websites and other resources that you might find useful. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions. I’d be particularly happy to give advice about any of the resources you might find on this website.