More on Love

I guess you could say the title of this post is a play on words.

It’s been a slow news week on the relationship front, but things could heat up fast. My wife has a concert tomorrow, and I’ll be there. Who knows, sparks may fly; stay posted.

Until then, I thought I’d post a link to another article by a former adulterer who reconciled his marriage, and who reports from the “other side.” Here’s a snippet to whet your appetite:

Let’s get right to it shall we? Real love is never about “falling” into anything, has nothing to do with “finding a soul mate,” and actually has less to do with “getting” anything in particular you deem either necessary or [of which you feel] deserving…

So, here’s the problem: Relationships fail because we don’t know what love is or what is required to actually love someone. Most see the main problem of love as that of “being loved;” that is finding the “right” person, missing completely the real problem, namely, our capacity to love another, which is no small task…

What most of us call “love” is not love; it is a self-absorbed, conditional quid pro quo [in which] you invest something only if a return of some sort is realized on a self-determined time line… Here, “love” is actually a relational bartering system justified by our self-obsession with presumed entitlement to get needs met […], as if a relationship were some egalitarian utopia, rather than the mysterious and demanding encounter it is [—a place] where you really can only expect [returns] in proportion to what you contribute, an idea foreign to most who claim to “love.”

You can read the whole article here.

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