Tag Archives: marriage help

More on Love

I guess you could say the title of this post is a play on words.

It’s been a slow news week on the relationship front, but things could heat up fast. My wife has a concert tomorrow, and I’ll be there. Who knows, sparks may fly; stay posted.

Until then, I thought I’d post a link to another article by a former adulterer who reconciled his marriage, and who reports from the “other side.” Here’s a snippet to whet your appetite:

Let’s get right to it shall we? Real love is never about “falling” into anything, has nothing to do with “finding a soul mate,” and actually has less to do with “getting” anything in particular you deem either necessary or [of which you feel] deserving…

So, here’s the problem: Relationships fail because we don’t know what love is or what is required to actually love someone. Most see the main problem of love as that of “being loved;” that is finding the “right” person, missing completely the real problem, namely, our capacity to love another, which is no small task…

What most of us call “love” is not love; it is a self-absorbed, conditional quid pro quo [in which] you invest something only if a return of some sort is realized on a self-determined time line… Here, “love” is actually a relational bartering system justified by our self-obsession with presumed entitlement to get needs met […], as if a relationship were some egalitarian utopia, rather than the mysterious and demanding encounter it is [—a place] where you really can only expect [returns] in proportion to what you contribute, an idea foreign to most who claim to “love.”

You can read the whole article here.

Can Hypnosis Save Your Marriage?

Can hypnosis help you to save your marriage?

Absolutely. But first, let me clarify. I’m not talking about hypnotizing your spouse or anything like that. Instead, I’m talking about using the power of self-hypnosis to disrupt unproductive behaviors that are affecting your marriage and to modify these into positive, productive behaviors. My own background with self-hypnosis goes back about 17 years to a time when I was in graduate school. I was dealing with a difficult academic situation (adversarial problems with my thesis advisor) and  emotional issues in my personal life (a relationship that was not working out). I came across a book called Centering, by Jerry Kushel, which is long since out of print, and in it Dr. Kushel explained the use of self-hypnosis to modify behaviors and emotional patterns. I needed to get over considerable worry and stress, and recorded some sessions into my little hand-held tape recorder, which I’d then listen to. It did bring measurable relief, but I was a rank amateur.

Click here for more information on self-hypnosis.

Fast forward about a decade, and I had begun a relationship with my wife. We weren’t yet married, but had some issues to work through individually. She was having sessions with a hypnotherapist who also was a practitioner of emotional freedom techniques, and was having some significant breakthroughs. I had a session or two and found it quite transformative as well.

After that time, my contact with self-hypnosis was kind of hit or miss; I’d use it sometimes to help myself fall asleep, but really didn’t have any coherent engagement with the technique. That is, until recently. It took a marriage crisis — and many months of it — for me to look for some resources on hypnosis. To my surprise, there wasn’t all that much out there, and there was pretty much nothing that was based here in the U.S., aside from a few questionable sites with squeeze pages that would result in endless emails pinging you with their terribly overpriced services. In fact, it was largely because of one such website that I began looking for more reputable and affordable alternatives.

This is when I found HypnosisDownloads.com. I’m not here to push their services, not fundamentally. This is a personal blog about my experiences in attempting to reconcile my marriage. However, I have found the services that this website offers to be of the absolute highest quality, very powerful, and extremely helpful. And it’s inexpensive: the average download costs about $12, and you can use it again and again. In fact, the more you listen, the deeper the effect.

Their main download page lists all of their available downloads, and there’s one for just about everything: not just marital issues, but also help with smoking, alcohol and other addictions, diet, exercise, anxiety, and much more. There’s also a free course in learning self-hypnosis that is excellent, and contains hypnotic inductions you can use on a daily basis.

Which sessions do I use? Well, this might surprise you. Here’s what I use on a regular basis:

  • Learn Self Hypnosis. This comes with the free self-hypnosis audio course; you do need to register with your email for this track, but I have had zero issues with spam after having registered.
  • Seize the Day. This one is great for ending procrastination and training yourself to take initiative, both of which are qualities that will help your marriage reconciliation. This was an audio that they were giving away for free for those liking their Facebook page, but this offer may or may not still be available when you click through via Facebook.
  • Stop Being Messy. I admit it, I’m not a neat freak, and it was my laziness in keeping tidy that actually launched my marital crisis. I’ve only been using this track for a few days and it’s already having an effect.
  • Automatic Writing. This concept might seem a bit odd, although I suspect it will be familiar to creative individuals: you can train yourself to write “automatically” while in a state of deep hypnotic absorption. I have found this skill incredibly useful, in that it helps me gain insight into situations that otherwise would have gone undetected. This was one of the first downloads I purchased, actually, and I use it daily. It has really helped me to understand where my wife is at, and has helped me to chart out a course of appropriate actions to keep me on track.

As mentioned above, there are also many sessions that are appropriate for marital crises, including the following:

There are plenty of other tracks that might suit your situation. Most of these titles run about $12, but there are some mulit-download packs that cost a bit more. Many of the tracks have suggested “bundles,” that pair the track with another complementary title that is given at a discount. If you find their services helpful — which I’m pretty sure you will — you might want to join their “Growth Zone,” which runs about $18 per month and grants you 2 monthly downloads of your choice, plus two randomly chosen hypnosis scripts (which you’d have to record yourself, but you could do this if you’d taken the free audio course) per month. You also get discounts on buying additional titles. It’s quite a bargain, really.

So, can hypnosis help you to save your marriage? Again, I’d say, “absolutely.” Check it out, you won’t be sorry. I know I sure don’t regret it.

Click here to visit the HypnosisDownloads.com official website.

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